澳大利亚到底有哪样东西不会搞死你呢…

英式没品笑话百科2019-03-15 21:00:00


Have you seen the new Exorcist movie?

 

This time it’s the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.


你们看了最新的《驱魔师》电影吗?

 

这次是魔鬼想把牧师从孩子身上弄出去。


——WelcomeToInsanity


I'm Aussie and Americans are always asking me where in Australia there isn’t something trying to kill you...

 

School is my answer!


我是个澳大利亚人,总是有美国人问我,澳大利亚到底有哪样东西不会搞死你呢…

 

我就回答“学校”!


——iiJoshAUS


I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn"

 

Stupid firemen.


我真烦这些人,敲开我的门和我说我们是来“拯救”你的,不然你就会被“烧死”。

 

智障消防员。


——figarojew


Their was a historic case where a Priest claimed a woman handcuffed him to a bed and raped him for weeks on end .

The defence were having none of it and stated "He must have been enjoying it to become aroused to enable her to have sex with him".

 

He won the case after he pointed out she kept dressing up as a kid.


发生了一场闻所未闻的案件,一位牧师声称有个女人把他铐住后进行强奸,长达数星期。

被告方并不买账,并表示:“他肯定还挺享受的吧,他要是不硬谁能强奸他?”

 

然而牧师赢了这场官司,在他指出该女子全程穿着童装之后。


——Weaverdog


One way to stop repeat offenders is by not electing them in the first place.


阻止惯犯的一种方式,就是最开始就不要给他们投票。


——Sage 发布于 美国总统选举 栏目


打个赌?




给哥伦比亚女孩指交后




权力与游戏的编剧正在努力把所有没交代的剧情塞进6集电视剧里



政客输密码



哎,有只小猫诶



你的2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣9️⃣使用进度:
▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 20%


——year_progress


我是一个斐波那契程序员

我每天都在修前天和昨天写的 bug


——_yukirock


大概这就是事情的真相了......



——xingxiafa315


我找到彼得在哪了!



——9GAG


【没品知识】在接吻时,双方口腔中的细菌会随着唾液的接触而交换,不过在此之前,还没有人计算过这种细菌迁移究竟有多大的规模。而近期发表在《微生物组学》期刊上的一项研究估计,一次持续10秒的亲吻会造成大约8000万口腔细菌的“迁徙”。



——DentistLee1


If you could hear people's thoughts, the gym would sound like angry kindergarten: lots of people straining hard to count to a relatively low number.


如果你能听到人的心声,健身房听起来会像个乱糟糟的幼儿园:大家都非常费劲地反复从1数到10。


——3ver_green


If a English person speaks Chinese it's amazing however if a Chinese person speaks English it's normal


外国人说中文是很厉害的一件事,但中国人说英语却没什么大不了。


——opticlolfanboy


A single tree can make a thousand matches, and a single match can burn a thousand trees to the ground


一棵树能做出几千根火柴,而一根火柴就能烧掉几千棵树。


——Infinitanium03

 

周末我们也休息下,下周一不见不散哦~


翻译:荒野/编辑:欣圆/监督:诺北